Joe helps to identify and provide resolutions for 3 Unique Stress Related Things that have symptomatically emerged in this pandemic
Call Outline:
3-4 min — Intro to the 3 Unique Stress Related Things that have symptomatically emerged in this pandemic
4-7 min — 1. Regression in kids and approaches to cope
7-8 min — 2. Stress created through transitional moments
8-9:20 min — 3. Higher levels of attention seeking in kids
9:20 – 15 min — How you and your spouse can sit with a feeling to move through it
15 – 24:30 min — Behavioral Interventions & Strategies
24:30 – 50 min — Group Q&A
1. Regression
Are you noticing old behaviors occur in your children and even your spouse?
It’s Normal to see regression when kids are under stress. Ex. Kids used to be flawless with bedtime routine and now their going back to wanting more snuggles, desire to watch younger TV shows, etc.
Approach: Have safety security and love top of mind, exemplify this as a father through simplify what it is you need from them. Ask them to do something then ask them to come back and ask what’s next.
2. Transition
Stress creating by going from one environment to another without a sufficient notification or allotted time to transition.
Kids are already in a hyper vigilant state and you’ll see that more under stress when moving from one space to another. Ex. going from playing to get in the car right now may be taking longer and causing more stress.
Approach: Give your kids time to transition and recognize the small things that they do right during transitional moments.
3. Attention
You may be seeing a spike in the need for attention whether that be positive or negative attention.
Approach: Slow yourself down, you may need to float instead of move forward. Take away pressure to optimize yourself and your family by slowing down to allow ourselves to go at a pace that makes our family feel safe. Promote safety and security for your kids by having more patience and slowing down your reaction time in situations.
Behavioral Interventions & Strategies
- Positive point system that kids can cash points in for rewards
- Increase the amount of jobs around the house to be inclusive about the well-being of the family environment
- Have non-negotiables to provide structure to the day
- Going for a walk, ride your bike, etc.
- Give your kids options for a response
- You can say yes
- You can say no and probably get in trouble
- Respectfully advocate for your position
- Allow your kids unstructured time
- Provide your kids with coping mechanisms
- Cake breathing: Breathe in (smell the cake), breathe out (blow out the candles)
- Cuddle with a buddy
- List these somewhere around the house in their line of sight using kid friendly graphics
Navigating Personal Stress
Many fathers take on the burden of being the provider, need to be the strongest, with the family on our shoulders.This may lead to pushing down your own needs and wants.
Approach: When you feel an emotion, name it and sit with it. When you need more exercise, time with a friend, to go for a walk, take time for yourself.
This will set the example for your spouse and kids that when they need time to get what they need they will do so instead of acting out.
Likewise, allow others to sit in their own pain or feeling.
References:
Canva: Online graphic design site to create a poster to put around the house
Book: Taming the Anger Monster
If you don’t know Joe…
Joe Sanok is a member of the FRD brotherhood, a keynote and TEDx speaker, private practice consultant, mental health counselor, and has the #1 podcast for counselors, The Practice of the Practice Podcast.
He’s been featured in Forbes, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur on Fire, and The Eventual Millionaire. Joe is the author of five books on parenting and business.
His business, Practice of the Practice, teaches health care professionals how to grow income, innovation, influence, and impact on the world.
Joe’s a curious person who finds the balance of art and science. He’s a father to two strong and bold Lucia and Laken. He and his wife Christina love stand-up paddle boarding and getting to know their neighbors.
Listen to Joe on the Front Row Dad podcast episode #52 — Slowing Down: How to Take Fridays Off, Finish Work Early and Spend More Time with Family
Brotherhood Resources
– All brotherhood virtual meet-up and discussions are located on our group calendar @ FrontRowDads.com/calendar