A thriving marriage is a marriage in which there is an increasing sense of safety for both spouses to increasingly show up as they are without protection – Dr. Kelly Flanagan
WHAT WE COVERED
- Practicing being non-defensive
- How to balance masculine and feminine energy
- Clues that you are in touch with your feminine energy
- How to recognize and detach from having an “agenda”
- 3 Concrete steps to revisit conversations that you aren’t able to create space for in the moment
- Be there for her to hear the things that you don’t want to hear as much as the things you do want to hear.
- When you find yourself in a fix it mode, ask yourself “What am I taking away from her growth by not allowing her to be where she is right now?”
- Also, when in fix it mode, you can try to ask yourself “What experience am I resisting right now or what experience am I attached to?
- Prior to a conversation ask yourself “What is my agenda here? Am I trying to get her to think something, am I trying to get her to do something different, am I trying to get her to see me in a certain way?”
- So much of holding space is about taking emotional punches without throwing them back.
0-3 min — Dr. Kelly defines using his own words and from a recent experience, what a Thriving Marriage looks
3-9 min — Journaling & breakout room activity
Can you recall a time you “held space” for your wife, letting go of your need to change the situation and instead just being fully present to it? What did you do or not do? How did it turn out?
9-13 min — Biggest takeaways from breakout rooms
Dr. Kelly Flanagan Teaching Moments
13-18 min — Practicing being non-defensive
18-23 min — How to find balance and hold space for masculine AND feminine energy
23-25 min — Clues that you are in touch with your feminine energy.
25-32 min — Tools to tap into our feminine energy & detaching from your agenda
32-34:30 min — How to revisit conversations that you aren’t able to create space for in the moment
Q&A with Kelly
34:30-43:30 min — “How do I take the punches better when in an emotionally charged environment?”
43:30-48 min — “How do I navigate the frustration that arises when I’m pouring into my personal and professional growth and my spouse is not?”
ABOUT THE GUEST SPEAKER
Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a clinical psychologist, author, consultant, and speaker who enjoys walking with people through the three essentials of a truly satisfying life.
Kelly has a Ph.D. from Penn State University and is the founder of Artisan Clinical Associates in Naperville, IL. In 2012, he began his now popular blog, where he writes regularly about those three essentials: worthiness, belonging, and purpose. His writing has been featured in Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, The 5 Love Languages, and in 2014 a letter he wrote to his daughter led to their appearance on the TODAY Show.
In 2017, Kelly published his first book—Loveable: Embracing What Is Truest About You, So You Can Truly Embrace Your Life—and it debuted as the #1 New Release in Interpersonal Relations on Amazon. His next book—True Companions is A Book for Everyone About the Relationships That See Us Through. Kelly is married to another clinical psychologist named Kelly—because they decided to make life more complicated than it already is—and they have three children: Aidan, 17; Quinn, 13; and Caitlin, 11. They live in a small town outside of Chicago. Connect and learn more at www.drkellyflanagan.com